I am leaving Australia.

After a great, long, meaningful year in Perth,  I finally understand what it means like to experience the grace of God and the need to be a better servant.

Leaving Australia and all its promising prospect will not be easy. But the choice has to be made. Because I know what I want.

And I know what I don’t want.

I don’t know what it will be like for an insignificant asian like me to break into the aeronautical market in the West.

I don’t even know if if i CAN go to the West?

But the little bit I know - I shouldn’t be anxious about anything, but in everything, with thanksgiving, I’ve presented my request to God. And His peace, which trancends all understanding will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Phillipians 4: 6-7)

and my heart plans my course, but my Lord determines my steps (Proverbs 16:9)

Coming Perth was easy. Cause it felt right.

Leaving Perth will be easy. Cause it feels right.

To not self-indulge. To not self-pity. Two both extremes.

I strongly believe part of the reasons why my resolutions never work, is due to the fact it was never publicly declared.

Hence, the lack of pressure to actually achieve them. Or even bother.

Here goes:

1] Complete my Masters.

2] Pray earnestly and faithfully throughout the year for PR. Pray for favour. Pray for blessings overflowing.

3] Get back into leadership position. Be it cell, ushering or work in general. And for that to happen, I must first be a good servant.

4] Travel more.

5] Make it to Amy’s wedding. Yes, coz Amy is that big of a deal for me to contort my leg in a 5 hours Air Asia flight =P

6] Pray and actually take the initiative to look for job - Casual and Full Time.

7] Healthy living. Better than 2009 at least.

8] Use less than $XXXX per month.

9] Blog bigger. Blog better.

10] A new DSLR. *corresponds with number 6*

11] Keyboard. *corresponds with number 6 and 10*

12] …

13] Do not want to forget the height I’ve fallen from.

14] Sleep healthily.

15] Be a better son/brother/housemate/friend.

16] …

17] …

There,  I said it. Now for the pressure of actually accomplishing it.

5 years ago I had successes but no God. 5 years later I have failures but has God…

…and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

…when we only earnestly seek/cry out to God just when we need Him? cause God is definitely not a genie.

…forgiveness should be prompt, but trust takes a season.

I remember clearly end of last year 2008, I said all I wanted for 2009 is to be happy. And guess what? I got sad-er. LOL. Never in my life have I’ve been continuously borderline depressed over things. Minor and major things.

I’ve spent so much effort thinking of ideal relationships with the people around me. And of course, being imperfect myself. None of it happens.

Having being rejected as a biggest fear didn’t help. Being rejected by 40? engineering companies for grad program DEFINITELY didn’t help. It’s like saying all that studying and curricular works these years isn’t hard enough.

(It’s good to know that I can always sugarcoat it with the fact that it IS after all a financial crisis period.)

Spiritual wise? I’ve definitely grown way WAY further than I’ve ever imagined. Which is contrary to what I expected with a lukewarm participation in ministry after stepping down from a lot of responsibilities on 2008.

Conclusion? 2009 isn’t a great year. Truly, it sucks.

Jeffery from FGA said, “I can say 2009 is a year of pain, but i choose to say 2009 is a year of growth”

and it is a year of growth.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” James 1:2-4

What I can/should and choose to commit to do now? Is to truly uphold everything to the Lord, and to keep running in His grace.

A post-grad plan, casual works, traveling? and a couple more years in Australia. I’m excited =D.

Cause 2010 is going to be great. It is going to be great =)

They will say yes. or they will say no. Then we will know. but Life goes on. Life will go on.

引导我生命,赐给我甜美的灵, 能合乎你心意, 一生跟随你

…and you think of people like Job, you think of people like Abraham. You can’t help but wonder; how did they praise God even after all that? And where did all that faith come from?